Friday, November 21, 2008

Classwork only cupboard.

My hands are splattered with mint green here and raspberry red there. I started putting my freshly burnt silk screens to work yesterday at Martha Street in the upstairs studio and fought back tears the entire three hour class. It was just Michelle, the sixteen year old anarchist boy (who I found out loves Kernels popcorn), and some dude named Jan. Jan pronounced 'Yawn'. Yawn. We worked at different paces and I couldn't get the flooding technique down. As it turns out my left hand is weaker than my right. Funny, the boys had no problem. It ticked me off as I always thought I had strong hands. Something was affecting my art making and I was angry and frustrated because of it. Acting strangely identical to the hyper-sensitive twelve year old girl in the Gap overalls I thought I left in my past was a gentle reminder to me that no matter how much we convince ourselves that we have changed, we are who we are. We will be who we will be. So there, I still fought back the tears for the simple reason that I wasn't good at something I thought should come naturally off the hop. Eventually I got it, after my new teacher brusquely intervened (and was a giant jerk about it). SORRRRRRY. My color choices were inspired by thoughts of Christie, Erin and Janique. Anyone reading this who knows those beauties can guess what I chose according to their personalities: Mint, chartreuse and dusty rose. Obviously. The colors were not used all at once of course, but for separate prints. It was quite fun opening up that 'Classwork Only' cupboard and seeing sixty plus inks to choose from. It was like a little window of the Lord being opened up in a dramatic gush of cool seaside air with sparkles and gold dust highlighted by some unseen background orchestra. Do you ever experience those 'aggggggggh ha' moments? I do not have them enough.

It was a breath of fresh air in all my angst. That will be my heaven; a cupboard full of inks and a kind art teacher putting an index finger under my chin hanging open in awe and saying, "go ahead, gem; knock 'em dead with your chaotic colors". And I did. And I did. And I did.

And I will (in my heaven). My heaven will also have long tables laden with food and candles and Sufjan Stevens singing "Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing" over and over and over again with a banjo in some low lit corner.

Anyway, It was great fun. Silk screening at long last; save for the jerk teacher and the almost tears.

Blah, no news is good news.

1 comment:

J. said...

i put up my favorite photo of you yesterday. guess which? the wedding one with your camera in the dusty bathroom with the pink dream dress. that moment is perfect and i am in love with you.