Fantasy or Bust.

I was lying in bed, trying to welcome sleep after a long Saturday but was suddenly struck with the importance of list making in the dead of night. A far cry from tired, I had no choice but to sit up, wade through the darkness swallowing my room, turn on the overhead light, grab the nearest pen and legal pad and make a God damned list. I was a bit surprised at the weak headers that flowed from my pen in light of such an urgent wake up call but I wrote on, unabated by my own lack of creativity. "Goals for Summer '08" was the first to present itself; then came "People I Need to Spend More Time With". "Musical Groups to See Before Meeting my Maker" and "Useless But Potentially Useful Hobbies" came next, followed by the sweeping topic of "Green". Last but not least was the Mariah Carey inspired inscription "Fantasy" (purposefully not pluralized). A myriad of broad topics indeed. The Headers have slowly been narrowed down one by one and every few minutes I find myself caught in one of those 'Ah Ha' light bulb moments and another point is dutifully added to the growing roster.

This morning, I woke up and read my dear friend Leigh's latest feature on my computer. Without permission, here is a horrible attempted recount: Leigh, a man cut from the very cloth of Humility is one of the city's finest DJ's on the circuit and an employee of a hip Organic grocer, has been dissatisfied with people forcing themselves into lamentable employment, inescapable mortgages, pushed behind unwanted desk real estate, squeezed into business suits (albeit blue or white collar make no difference at the end of the day) and making/taking/breaking wedding vows under said pressure of dissatisfaction. Without so many words, Leigh has washed his hands of school just for the sake of being in school and I applaud him in his efforts and plan to follow suit until I too experience some clarity. As a man of few words, I took in his piece with dourness. To sum up, again I applaud Leigh and his immovable stance that it is okay to float sometimes; no matter what one's age, marital status, place of employment (or lack thereof), alma mater (or lack thereof), or equity lining one's mattress, bank account or pocket.

Taking a quick look down at my legal pad, the "Fantasy" column is the longest. Not only is it healthy to dream (and to dream big, at that), it is imperative. Dreaming, hoping, wishing, and reverie within the mind are what move us along in our daily routine; these typically frivolous thoughts that are usually pushed aside as "distractions from the cause" are also the greatest catalysts of change. On that note, I am going to continue dreaming of becoming a photographer, sculptor, photojournalist, gardener, Beirut visiting, art teacher, pastry chef, fabric designer, Andrew Bird fan, homeowner, young wife, old wife, spinster, carpenter, home renovating, mother, Balinese living, composter/recycler extraordinaire, paper maker, party planner, hostess with the mostess, bun dough goddess, owner of multiple road bicycles, pearl earring wearing, wilderness scout, horseback riding, Bikram yogi, acreage wandering, devotee of Critical Mass, editor of i-D, karate master, aunt, pot-smoking Geriatrics patient, soccer star, Interior designer, Teak furniture loving, slide projection, green thumbed, record collecting, Vogue subscribing, marathoning, fur clad Grandmother extraordinaire.

Reality can eat it.

With some hard work, persistence, and a lot of laughter, I will accomplish this list and hopefully lead a full life. Three cheers to Leigh for bringing this post to a head. Hip, hip, hooray (thrice over). Go ahead, make a list in the middle of the night; it feels nice.

Fantasy or Bust,
Meg.